Yesterday marked the end of my 30-day meditation mission. I’m glad to say I stuck it out and it’s been quite an eye-opening experience. In summation, the most noticeable thing I’ve gained is less attachment to feelings. (I’ve experienced this in the past too, but more so when I meditate consistently). When I’m in the middle of a strong emotion, I’m now much better able to acknowledge it in a way that’s separate from how I feel. This has proved to be very helpful with the negative, ego-driven emotions such as fear or when I’m feeling hyper-sensitive to something, such as others’ energy. Once I can see how I’m feeling, it’s easier to see my reaction as a choice. That skill of detachment is still just part of the equation. Meditation isn’t a magic solution; it’s a tool.
And even in the midst of this, I am still learning about myself. I was tired early in the night & ready for bed, but remembered I hadn’t meditated yet and didn’t want to skip the final day. So, I meditated… and just like many other times have proven, it woke up my brain. My brain & body had been ready to hit the sack early, but I was no longer tired enough. Matter of fact, I had trouble sleeping as I lay in bed.
While tossing, turning and thinking in bed, it occurred to me that I would’ve been better off not meditating. My drive to meditate that night was to feed my ego. My ego wanted me to finish that goal properly and not in a delayed manner, even though my body needed rest. That realization made me feel lighter and probably spurred me to relax enough to fall asleep finally.
I still feel good for completing my goal. And I intend to continue meditating everyday. It’s given me the spiritual discipline and routine I needed… and also provided me the benefit of being present more often. I haven’t decided on a new 30-day challenge just yet, but am not planning on anything new until January anyhow. I don’t like having too much on my plate.
I’m off to meditate early tonight, since my work-out earlier has me feeling quite relaxed & slightly sleepy already.